Life, Life, oh God, thank you for Life

May I just marvel awhile?

The little nerves at the back of my eyes are tingling because the tear ducts are warming up to let loose the joyful expression of my heart. You know that feeling, right?

God is so good. And He does such good work. May I list for you some miracles I have witnessed in the last week?

1). My sweet sweet baby friend, Adeline Camille Prewett had open heart surgery on Thursday, moved out of the ICU on Saturday and moved home on Monday. She is the daughter of my precious friend, Camille, and the little sister of Laila's bestie, Ellie Claire. I am completely in awe of how strong her little body is, how resilient and flexible she is, to have weathered two open heart surgeries in her short six months of life and to do it with so much beauty, joy and sweetness. Seriously, this is one SWEET baby. She always has a smile for Laila and I when we visit her... and she has inspired Laila to want a little sister of her own. "She smiled at me!" Laila marvels.
And it is marvelous. 
 Her life is a beautiful miracle and such a testimony of God's faithfulness. And her MOTHER. That woman inspires me every day, with her gracious humor, her vulnerability in sharing her feelings even when they are scary, her care for others in the midst of her own trial, her deep and true friendship. I am in awe of the goodness of God and so thankful for our friendship with this family.

2). Our Stella came home from the NICU on Saturday!! She's eating! She's growing! She's cooing and squeaking and sighing! All the wonderful things that she should do! And, technically, my sweet baby niece is only 39 weeks gestation, meaning she could still be in the warm, comfy cocoon of Kellie's womb. For growth restriction issues, they induced Kellie at what they thought was 37 weeks but may have turned out to be more like 35 weeks. Baby Stella initially had to go to the NICU because of low blood sugar but then they found that her suck reflex wasn't developed so she had to stay awhile. But what a little fighter! She is learning and eating and growing and we are so very very thankful. And Kellie and Clay and Stella are so BEAUTIFUL together. I marvel at the way God built this little family for the three of them and how His faithfulness, timing and grace are their testimony. Hallelujah! We finally got to meet this sweet angel yesterday and here are some pictures of Laila meeting her baby cousin...

3). Baby London Lisa Vaughn is here!! Oh how we prayed and prayed and prayed for this baby! And the Lord's timing is perfect. She is beautiful and healthy and Lindsey is beautiful and healthy and there is simply nothing better than that. "Every good and perfect gift comes from above"... Amen!

My friends, may your day be filled with joy and excitement and may our gracious God give you reasons to celebrate, as He has done for us. Hallelujah!

An Open Apology to All the Moms I've Judged Before

My friends, I'm not really sure what an "open apology" is... I tried to google it but I just found a lot of open apologies published on the Internet. Including one to the entire country of Iceland. So... that didn't really help me much. But, if an "open apology" is one in which the apologizer's heart is open and naked and splayed out for all to see, then I've appropriately titled this post.

This is my genuine and heart felt apology to all the mothers I've judged in the past. Here it goes.

- To the mother who ignored her tantrumming toddler in Target: I judged you. I'm sorry.

- To the mother who carried her toddler, kicking and screaming, out of the mall with one arm while dragging a 4(ish) year old child with the other: I judged you. I thought to myself "Oh, those poor children." I'm sorry.

- To the mother who's children have terrible table manners: I judged you. I'm sorry.

(Here's a big one. SUPER ouch on this one.)

 - To the mother who's child was so shy, she wouldn't speak to anyone. Let alone, crack a smile: I judged you. I thought you ought to teach your child to be friendly. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry.

 - To the mother of the set of twins who used to bite me in Kindergarten: I judged you. You really should have done something about that. But perhaps you tried really hard. Perhaps the biting thing was a heartbreaking issue for you. I shouldn't have judged you. I'm very sorry.

 - To the mother of the 4 year old who still used a pacifier: I judged you. I'm sorry. 

These are just a few examples of mommies that I, in all my righteous wisdom, have judged. And I had NO IDEA. Zero.
Of course, I never would have said any of these things aloud to these mommies. I never would have wanted to hurt feelings. I'm too "nice" a person for that... But I certainly thought they were missing the mark. I definitely thought that I could do better.

I am so so sorry.

Last week was quite possibly my worst week as a parent. It was a really really hard week. Let me just start by telling you what happened on Monday. After a very busy weekend as the Maid of Honor in a friend's wedding, I wanted to spend a lot of sweet, quality time with Laila. I told her we could go to Baby Bounce, which is storytime at the public library. We've been going since she was, like, 3 months old and we love it. It is a serious blessing. When we got there, though, Laila was not simply not obeying me. She was doing silly things that she knows not to do like putting the shaker egg in her mouth. Which is, my friends, totally gross! A million little toddler hands have been on those eggs and you know how children are... they're little carrier monkeys. No one likes having a sick 2 year old up in the middle of the night so I was trying to avoid her catching a pesky autumn cold. I told her 2 times NOT to put the egg in her mouth and, when she did it a third time, I said, in my best Authoritative Mommy Voice, "If you put that egg in your mouth one more time, Laila Grace, we are going home." And do you know what she did?! She looked right at me, y'all, and put the egg in her mouth.
An instant later, she took it out, squared her eyes on mine and said, "You're supposed to take me home now."

The GALL! The NERVE! The AUDACITY!

And do you know what I did? I majorly and completely Mommy Failed. I didn't take her home. Can you people believe it?! I DIDN'T take her home. I know. I know. You're all shaking your heads right now and judging me. It's okay. You're allowed. For this one moment, you're allowed. I judge myself!!

Here's the deal: I didn't want to leave. I was totally intimidated by the thought of being alone at home with this child. I was tired. I was overwhelmed. I was weak.

And, ultimately, it was unfair to Laila. Because she needs to know that her mommy is a woman who will keep her word. She needs to know that she cannot blatantly disobey and get away with it. She needs to know where her boundaries are so that she can feel secure within them. She absolutely and completely NEEDS me to follow through.

About 5 minutes later, I said to her, "Laila. Right now, Mommy is having grace for you. Grace is when you do not get the punishment that you deserve. You deserve to be taken home because you disobeyed but I am having grace for you and letting you stay at Baby Bounce."

Sounds good, huh? And, yes, grace is a concept that I absolutely want to teach. But, in this case, friends, it was a cop out. I can admit that. I was simply too lazy to follow through. And I was scared. Of my 2 year old. Sheesh.

On Wednesday, I status updated (See how I made "status update" a verb? My english degree entitles me to take such liberties) my feelings: "Parenting a 2 year old is really tough work. There is little room for weakness, double mindedness or distraction. I had better get it together. Seriously."

That particular statement was born out of the realization that, on any given day, my personality is given to distraction, flightiness, inconsistency, forgetfulness... It's all part of my charm! Hee hee. And, back in the day, when it was all about ME, the consequences of these tendencies were born by myself alone. And for the most part, the consequences weren't so bad...  BUT when you are parenting a 2 year old, you simply aren't allowed these sorts of luxuries. It turns out that it is really hard to be a Type B Mama. Can I get a WITNESS??

And, to think, all those years, I watched. And I judged. And I thought I could do it better.


(Dramatic pause)...


So, all of that was the bad news.
Here's the good news:
Taken from excerpts of conversations with two sweet friends:
Last week (AKA, the Week from "H" - "E" - "Double Hockey Sticks"):

First piece of good news: Someday, they will have 2 year-olds of their own.
Okay, j/k about, like, the sweet revenge part... But, no, seriously.

Second piece of good news: The effort and the heartache that is required to train them at this point is going to reap a reward. Our children will be better people. Our daughters will be better women for the good seed that we've sown. With blood, sweat and tears. Oh, the tears.

Third piece of good news: Even when we mess up, we're modeling humility and repentance. Our daughters will learn to be forgiven but they will also learn how to offer forgiveness. I always say that the most important words in a marriage are not "I love you". They are "I'm sorry" and "I forgive you". If I can have a hand in teaching Laila the power of forgiving others, then I will be investing in her future marriage. And that is worth it's weight in gold.

Yes, my friends, I do believe that the Lord is using these days. To build character, strength and patience. To tighten the bonds between Laila and I. To make us more like Jesus.
And I welcome it... mostly.

In the meantime, Mommies that I've judged, please accept my apology. Accept my heartfelt and genuine apology. And if you are a Mommy Judger, REPENT! Turn from your evil ways!! Recognize that nobody knows what it's like to be someone else, to "walk in their moccasins", as the plaque in my Granny's kitchen used to say. Let's encourage each other. As women, as mothers, as wives, let's take the energy we use for contempt and use it in love and grace instead. Let's help each other, build each other up, walk arm in arm, sing Kumbaya... Okay, we don't have to sing Kumbaya... but, seriously...

" Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 4:8

Hugs!

Just stopped by to share this little piece of goodness.
We love our buddy, Micah Joe.
And the people he belongs to.
And his little brother too.

Happy Wednesday Evening!

Present with the Lord

This past weekend, we had the privilege of celebrating a dear friend's life and, as my Yaya would say, his "homegoing"... the glorious passage of existence from flesh on earth to the presence of God in Heaven. My friends, the memorial service was beautiful, lovely, exactly as it should have been. There were three elements that spoke deeply to my heart. The first part of the service was spent in worship... All of Jackie's friends and family just celebrating him by worshiping the Lord together, just exactly how Jackie would have wanted us to celebrate him. We sang a song, written by my dear friend, Jenny Ayers, called "Most High". One of the verses says, "I stand in awe and wonder in this place, for you are loveliness. I join with saints and angels, forever to proclaim in your presence..." (Ya'll, I have chillbumps as I type this)... As we sang that verse, I couldn't help but smile so broadly. I felt joy rush into my heart and overflow out of me as I thought about how Jackie was worshiping the Lord in Heaven and that, by worshiping Him here on earth, we were truly joining in with Jackie's song. This is so poignant because Jackie played with Trevor and so many of our dear friends on our worship team at church. How many times had they stood (or in Trevor's case, sat) on the stage together, unified, friends, worshiping Jesus in one accord? And I know that Trevor and my friends will miss being on stage with Jackie, pouring hearts out to the Lord... but, in that moment, it became so clear to me that any time we worship on earth, we will be joining our friend, as he spends eternity worshiping at the feet of Jesus. We are never closer then, to the ones who've passed before us, to the loved ones we miss so desperately, than when we worship our God.
What a marvelous mystery. What a precious reality.

The second part of the service that touched me deeply was Jackie's adult daughter's words about him. She used language of friendship, described evenings spent playing board games, watching baseball games, having talks... She described her mother and father as she and her husband's "favorite couple to hang out with" and said that her father was "one of her best friends". So beautiful. And doesn't that just speak to who Jackie was and who Wendy, his wife, is, that their grown children would want to spend so much time with them, that their grown children would describe them in such a way? And, of course, it made me think of my own daddy and mom, who we LOVE to be with, who we seek out, who we begged to come to Florida with us in September, just because we love spending time with them. What a treasure. What a gift. And it challenged me, friends. It challenged me to be the kind of parent who's adult children pursue. To be the kind of parent who is steadfast, committed (Jackie and Wendy's son, Taylor, played baseball all the way through college, year round, and Taylor testified that Jackie only missed one game. One game. In Taylor's entire career), FUN, wise, gracious... I'm inspired.

And, finally, Wendy's words about her husband. I won't share everything, in case it wasn't meant for all the internet to read but suffice it to say that these two were resolutely and solidly in love. They were truly companions, unified. I will say that, before Jackie died, I was so moved by how Wendy talked about Jackie's cancer. She called it "ours". When describing what was going on in Jackie's body, she said "us" and "we", as in, "we are experiencing pain in such and such place" because, as she said, "We are one. What is happening to Jackie is happening to me."

Have I mentioned that I'm inspired?
And grateful. So grateful for the friendship of this family, for the hope that we have because of Jesus and for the ways that Jackie continues to teach and influence me.

"To be absent from this body is to be present with the Lord" Hallelujah.

My New Office, AKA: THE LGC's Playroom

Well, my friends, a post about the playroom is long overdue but here it is. We completed it in time for Laila's second birthday and, boy, has it helped us brave this HOT Texas summer!! You, our dearest friends, are more than welcome to come play as well. Beat the heat with the Chapmans! That's our motto! It would be a pleasure to have you.

Besides helping us have a stellar indoor play space, the playroom has truly helped ease the pain of our house NOT selling. P.S. We have a beautiful house for sale!! (Hey, its my blog. I can throw in shameless plugs if I want to...) :)

Here it is, my friends:

And here are the stats:

The paint is Sherwin Williams Adventure Orange (because we love adventure, as you know.)

The tiles are from www.softtiles.com. May I just say that these are AWESOME. They are soft and squishy so they provide a nice landing for the slide (not pictured, off to the left) and provide great support for the feet and ankles during jumping and dance parties. Also, the company will send you free samples of whatever colors you want so that you can see how they will look in your space. We highly recommend them! Also, I use baby wipes to easily mop up any stains or smudges and it works like a charm!

The green table and chairs are from IKEA as are the shelves. The frames are also from IKEA. Those are the fruits of the spirit...










Oh yeah, the easel also came from IKEA. Cheap too!

The kitchen is kid kraft and, boy, do we LOVE that kitchen! (Thanks, Nonna and Papa Bear!)

And those awesome green bins are from Target. 

And now for the credits:

Truly, the credit goes to.... (drum roll, please!) my sweetest and darling husband, Trevor Chapman, who, selflessly and lovingly:

1). Gave up his formal dining room... which, ya'll, I would have NEVER expected.

2). Painted and re-painted and taped and painted. He also painted the ceiling. So much work involved in that.

3). Took down the chandelier and replaced it with a super fan and high-tech dimming light switch.

4). Assembled the shelves from IKEA and measured and re-measured to be sure they would fit as beautifully as they do.

5). Researched the soft tiles, purchased the soft tiles and did all the mathematics, cutting, etc. to ensure that we had perfectly installed wall-to-wall comfort.

6). Ya'll. You ain't never seen anything until you've seen my husband hang a gallery wall. I thought it was perfect. Then, he noticed a slightly wider gap between two of the rows than the third and he took them all down and started again. I provided the moral support in the form of love notes held up from my comfy spot on the floor.

 

So, that's that. And our offer to have you come and play is a standing one. So, come on over!

That Being Said...

... It was a pretty great party. The reason it was such a great party, though, wasn't because of the Oreo pops or the cookie decorating table or the bubble machines but because there were so many WONDERFUL people there.

Friends and family, thank you so much for coming out to honor our sweet girl. We feel so loved! And, oh, the presents! You people sure know how to outfit a 2 year old little girl!
Thank you so so much.

Here are a few pictures of our wonderful guests:

BJ with Abby, Leah and Jane, enjoying the shade.

Audrey A, looking beautiful!

Sweet Crystal and Gideon.

Joseph and Cayla, assisting with the cookie decorating table.

Evie June and Laila's cousin, Madeline.

Dana, looking fly, with Levi and Jonah.

Leah R, what a darling!

Daniella D, taking out her paci for a photo op!

Beautiful Gigi!

We love that silly girl!

Uncle George, Uncle Poppy and Aunt Gammy, Grammy, Aunt Heidi and Uncle Chris.

Papa, Grandad, Grandat and Nonna.

Jane and baby Maddox, super sweet.

Ross and Julian, sharing a pensive moment.

All the family who came!

Ellie Claire, accomplishing the serious task of eating a cupcake.

Laila with her sweet friend, Kelby.

Laila and her cutie cousin, Madeline.

Jenny and Evie June, so much beautiful hair in one picture. 

Sweet Chris and I with Laila, Elijah and Madelyn.

Laila, pondering the whole candle thing with my sweet friend, Liz, her son, Beau and Melissa lighting the candles!

Handsome Micah, climbing.

The cake decorating station! 

Laila, Shane, Ellie, Kelby, Gigi, Brandy and I.

Laila and her proud mommy and daddy.

A VERY special thank you to Bethany Johnson for taking these beautiful photos for us!
We will treasure them!
xoxo

An Important Realization

Hi! Did ya'll know that I'm an extrovert? Big time. Like, please oh please let me spend an afternoon in the throngs of people at IKEA fighting over that last EXPEDIT bookshelf we all learned how to turn into a bench on pinterest! Please let me spend a long evening at a restaurant with 8 friends drinking wine, eating and talking about life. Please let me have a morning at Starbucks, watching people, interacting with strangers, drinking coffee and texting a bunch of friends all at once. Ya'll, it's not just that I LIKE people and passion and talking over coffee... I am absolutely energized by it!

Therefore, when an occasion calls for a party, my friends, I am ALL about it. For Trevor's 30th birthday, I threw him a surprise party with a ton of friends and lots of hoopla. When my sweet baby girl who I love and who lights up our world turns 2, what could possibly be better than a great BIG party?! All her friends, her family and her favorite things...
Bubbles!
And balloons!
And food!
And lemonade!

Why not? The bigger, the better, right? So, for Laila's birthday party, I planned my little heart out! I pinterested (is that a word??) day and night for good ideas, convinced Trevor that we NEEDED to send custom balloon invitations, stayed up late with my sweet mom making Oreo pops and cupcakes and fruit kabobs and peanut butter cracker cookies and almost passed out blowing balloons and pretty much went bonkers creating a beautiful, fun and themed 2 year old birthday party for my baby.

And then, on Saturday, the day before the big party day, I did the unthinkable.
 I referred to the event, out loud, with my own voice, as "my party".
And it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I was doing it all for me.

Because I like parties.
Because parties are FUN.
Because I wanted to invite people and make things and have everyone together and be cute and crafty and generally be known as a cool mom who does great parties and pulls off fun pinterest ideas like Oreo pops.

 And, had I asked Laila... and had she been able to express herself to me about this, she probably would have said that, for her birthday, she would have liked to have her little buddies over to her playroom for goldfish and ice water and a showing of her favorite Veggie Tales DVD.
 Because she, I do believe, at least at this point in her life, is an introvert.

I think she had fun. Actually, I know she had fun.
We have the pictures of her smiling at her party to prove it...

(I just can't help mentioning that her dress matched the theme. Ok, I'm done.) 

BUT this just might be the last BIG party we have for her. Next year, come March, I will ask my daughter how she would like to celebrate her birthday. Maybe she'll say that she wants to have 3 girls over for a sleepover and pizza. Maybe she'll say she wants to go to the zoo with her best bud or maybe she'll surprise me and ask for a big party.

Whatever her preference is, though, I am going to honor it. And I am going to endeavor to honor HER and the way God made her and value every bit of the personality she has been given no matter how different it is from my own. I know that the Holy Spirit will help me with this. And I'm grateful that God is teaching me through Laila.

May that never end.
And may her preferences always include Oreo pops. Just for fun.
:)


An Addendum: WOW. This realization and this commitment I'm making to take care of my little introvert's heart by paying attention to her preferences, especially when they are different from my own, has opened my eyes about Trevor as well. He is also an introvert.

Did ya'll know that?
Could you tell?

Somewhere in the course of all this, I got the same realization about Trevor's 30th surprise birthday party that I did about Laila's 2nd birthday party... I did it all for me.

OUCH, ya'll. Ouch.

My sweet husband would have preferred a small dinner party of our closest friends. Or a weekend away. Or a weekend (prepare yourself for this because it is truly hard for me to imagine) ALL ALONE.

So, here I sit. In repentance. And gratitude. I'm grateful for these realizations. I'm grateful for growth and I'm so very very grateful that God gave me such a precious pair of introverts. They are my greatest treasure and I endeavor to be worthy of them.