Solid Food

If you'll allow, I think I'll just start right here in the middle of my thought.

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Recently, I marveled at a facebook post written by a man who's child had been diagnosed with cancer.  

It was incredible. 
It was inspiring. 
It was compelling. 

Maybe that is what the Bible writers meant when they talked about "solid food", that I might grow to a place of maturity in which I am able to pray "In every circumstance; truly, even in the midst of my worst nightmare, I trust in your goodness. I rely on you for comfort and I hold fast to the promise of eternity in your presence, where there is no longer sorrow, where the thirst of my soul will be ultimately and unendingly quenched by Living Water." 

I'm not here to make an announcement. We're not in the middle of any great trial. 
In fact, I've never really experienced personal grief. Heck, I haven't even had to grieve a grandparent yet. Wonder of wonders, I'm 32 years old and all 4 of my grandparents are alive and well, thank God. MAY THEY LIVE FOREVER AND EVER. 

My dad has struggled with cancer for so many years that I'm tired of typing the number but he is alive and he is fighting. We've grieved for moments lost, for sure, but he is breathing and we are able to hear his voice and kiss his lovely face. 

I have heard of that deep grief of loss, though, for sure. 
I've walked closely with friends as they've travelled that dark valley. 

I absolutely cannot imagine the immense grief of watching my child suffer with cancer... and, yet, this acquaintance of mine and his wife are doing that very thing, walking through my worst nightmare and somehow finding a way to worship God in the midst of it. Solid food. 

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I do not understand why my life is so good. I have such abundance and such an overflow of reasons to be thankful, I almost feel guilty sometimes. And I struggle with even saying that God has blessed me. Because why should He? Why should I be "blessed" with healthy children when others have to watch their precious ones suffer? 

I'll tell the truth. I feel lucky. 
And grateful. So very very grateful. 

Jesus, you said that we'd have trouble in this world. 
And I believe you. 

When trouble comes to me, I pray that I will have the courage and strength to reach for the solid food of trusting you, allowing you to be my comfort and my sustenance, just as I've witnessed others do. They are an inspiration and their faith spurs me onward.

"Whatever it looks like, whatever may come, I am yours."
~Bethel worship

Love,
Chels